Slowly Drifting
by KlarolinexDelenaxx
Summary: Leela & Peri after Sam and Danny's death and Ste's 'suicide'. I got asked to do something like this so I decided to give it a shot. This is only meant to be a few shots, but probably gonna be a short story.
1. Chapter 1

Leela walked through the front door only to be met with silence; the house was empty, she suspected Tegan and Peri were both in bed now, after all it was nearly midnight.

The night events were some that she wished she could forget, wished that she could change, but she couldn't and that thought alone made her want to cry; cry for herself, for her daughter and for her sister.

_This is your fault._

_I hate you._

_I wish it was you in the crash._

The words of her daughter rang in her ears as she slowly entered the cold, empty house; _this house no longer feels like home_ she thought letting out a humorous chuckle, why was she laughing, none of this was funny, her Mum and Dad dying, her brother in hospital for attempted suicide, her daughter up there hating her, and it was all her fault.

Staring at her own reflection in the mirror she saw someone she didn't recognise; skin as pale as a ghost, red, puffy eyes and dried mascara tracks running down her cheeks; she looked a mess, her life was a mess and only she was to blame.

_This is your fault._

_I hate you._

_I wish it was you in the crash._

Again the words of her daughter floated around her scrambled mind _Your fault. Your fault. Your fault_.

"My fault" she whispered to her reflection as she felt a burst of pained anger take over her defeated body.

_I wish it was you in the crash. _

_I wish it was you in the crash. _

_I wish it was you in the crash. _

The hatred in Peri's voice echoed in her ears_._

She let out a strangled sob as she slammed her head forward, hitting it over and over again until the mirror in front of her broke from the impact.

Blood trickled from her head as she looked at the damage she had caused, broken glass lay on the ground in front of her, her head stung as the blood slowly dripped down her forehead, but it was only what she deserved, or so she thought... She had no one, her Mum and Dad had gone, her daughter hated her and her sister no doubt hated her now because of what she did to poor Ste, how was she to know he was going to attempt something so stupid? But it was a cry for help, he just wanted to be loved and wanted, in many ways her and Ste were the same, maybe that was why she disliked him so much, because he was a threat, someone who could ruin the perfect family picture she painted in her head.

She was to blame according to Peri, and she was starting to believe it; Ste, their Mum and Dad, it was all her doing; she was selfish, she deserved all the pain she felt _I'm no better than a murderer _she thought to herself; Peri was right.

The tears started falling; finally, she hadn't cried when she heard about her Mum and Dad; one tear, that was all, then she put on a brave face; put up the walls, it's what she did best.

The careless words she said to Ste came back to her causing more tears to cascade down her mascara stained cheeks, the words she said out of anger, hurt and pain at losing her beloved parents, especially her Dad; she was always Daddy's little girl growing up and now he was gone; never coming back.

_Never coming back. Never coming back _her mind repeated it over and over again_ Never coming back _then Peri's words came blaring in _This is your fault. I hate you. I wish it was you in the crash._

Ignoring her bloody head she looked around the house feeling the emptiness, she didn't know what to do, she was emotional exhausted but she didn't want to sleep.

Without much thought she walked upstairs quietly, making sure not to wake baby Rose or Peri, she silently made her way to her room.

As she was making her way to her room she noticed Peri's door was not shut all the way so she pushed it open slowly, being careful not to wake her, she crept in the room and knelt down beside her bed, watching her daughter sleep; her face was so relaxed and carefree, she had this innocence that broke Leela's heart, she wished this could all be a bad dream; she realised now that Peri didn't want her as a Mum and who could blame her.

Leela was on a path of self-hatred; the words of her daughter were harsh but they were true; everything that happened to this family was her fault; these thoughts clouded her mind as she watched her peaceful daughter sleep, reaching out, she lightly stroked her cheek and brushed some hair away from her eyes being careful not to disturb her from her slumber.

"I know you hate me" Leela whispered softly as she stared at her daughters sleeping form "I hate me too" she continued in a whisper as she stroked her daughters soft cheek, Leela wondered how someone so innocent could be hers; she didn't deserve her.

A silent tear slide down Leela's cheek which she quickly wiped away "Sorry, I'm so sorry baby girl, I never wanted any of this"

A mumble came from Peri's sleeping figure which alerted Leela; she had woken her.

Quickly getting to her feet she walked to the door but a quiet yet clear voice stopped her.

"I'm sorry" said a sleepy Peri as she clumsily sat up and put her bedside lamp on.

Their eyes met and suddenly Peri started crying.

Leela was by her daughter's side in no time, trying to offer her comfort, but she knew she could never offer the comfort that her own mother could; Peri's 'mum'; the only person Peri would ever see as her Mum.

She remembered the words Peri spoke when she found out that she was her Mum; _You're my big sister and that's all you'll ever be._

_This is your fault._

_I hate you._

_I wish it was you in the crash._

Leela just wanted to be a Mum to her little girl.

She slowly took her daughter in her arms and hugged her closely, trying to soothe her cries.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm a little hesitant to post this because I'm not sure how good it is tbh, but I hope it's okay  
**

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Peri and Leela sat there in silence for the longest time, the only sounds being heard were Peri's faint sobs; Leela sat holding her without saying a word, just being there, letting her daughter cry.

"Why?" Peri's small voice said all of a sudden.

Peri's voice broke Leela from her haunted thoughts.

"I don't know" Leela whispered more to herself, but she just didn't know why life had been so cruel, she didn't care about herself, she cared about her young daughter who had her life turned upside down, and all because of her.

A tear fell down Leela's cheek as Peri looked up at her.

"I just want Mum and Dad back" Peri sobbed causing more tears to cascade down Leela's cheeks "You did this" Peri shouted suddenly, pulling back from the embrace, she pulled her knees to her chest, hugging herself, trying to get away from the reality that the person she grew up calling Mum wasn't her Mum at all.

"Peri" Leela reached out but Peri quickly shoved her off, she didn't know what to feel; she felt angry, she felt sad, she felt hate and she didn't know how to handle it all, she was only fourteen; life was perfect until it all came crumbling down around her.

"Get off me, I want my Mum" Peri shouted, not really caring if she woke Rose or Tegan.

"I am your Mum" Leela said, trying to keep her voice down but the cries of Rose started to fill the house followed by Tegan's voice.

Peri just started back at Leela as if what she said was feign to her.

"I want to go to sleep" Peri said without showing any emotion as she turned away from Leela.

"Pez..." Leela whispered but she got no reply so she turned out the light and walked out of the room with one last defeated look at her daughter.

She walked into the hallway seeing an angry Tegan standing there holding Rose.

"Thanks" Tegan said sarcastically as she walked downstairs with her baby daughter.

Leela felt terrible; her siblings hated her and who could blame them.

Walking to her room she saw her alarm clock flashing 2:00am so she crawled into bed, however that night she didn't get any sleep as the thoughts of the last 48 hours filled her mind, going around on repeat.

_You did this._

She heard Tegan come back upstairs and slam her bedroom door shut.

As she lay there she thought of Cameron and Ziggy but most of all she thought of her daughter, her parents and Ste; Ste who was lying in hospital as a result of her sharp tongue.

The room was deadly silent and pitch black but sleep didn't come, she was tired but no amount of tiredness would bring her sleep so she decided to creep downstairs.

Being extra careful not to wake anyone she made her way downstairs and went to the cupboard under the sink, finding what she wanted she hoped that it would numb the pain and maybe then she could sleep.

Pulling out the unopened bottle of vodka she unscrewed the lid and brought it to her lips, pausing for a brief second before taking a small sip; the liquid burnt her throat but the burning just helped numb her body.

Making her way clumsily to the couch she sat down, just sitting there with her open bottle of vodka, holding it like it was her lifeline; without Peri, without her Mum and Dad, without Ste and Tegan her life was nothing, they all hated her, at least that's what she thought.

Before she knew it the bottle was half empty before finally she drained the whole bottle; she felt better now though she needed more.

She awkwardly lifted herself off of the couch and made her way back to the kitchen, stumbling slightly as she searched the cupboards for more; finding a half empty bottle of vodka in the back of one of the cupboards.

She sat on the chair in the kitchen now as she drank vodka after vodka until it was gone, but the pain was still there, it was never going to go away.

The image of hate in her daughter's eyes filled her mind causing her to cry; she didn't want Peri to hate her forever.

As she laid her head on the cold marble surface she found herself dozing off, next thing she was being shaken awake by someone.

"Go away" Leela mumbled as her head began to pound, looking up slowly she saw Peri looking at her with a small frown on her face.

She watched as Peri picked the empty vodka bottle up and walked over to the bin, dropping it in with as much force as possible.

"Typical Leela, you're such a mess, why has it always got to be about you" Peri said, getting louder and louder "You wanted to be my Mum, well I'm glad you weren't, you..." Peri trailed off as she blinked back the tears before running out of the house.

Leela got up, forgetting her banging headache she went to follow Peri but Tegan stopped her.

"Leela, stop" Tegan sighed "Just leave her"

Leela stared at her sister; she needed to go after Peri.

"She's hurting" Tegan told her older sister "She's upset, she's just lost her Mum and Dad"

"But I'm..." before Leela could finish Tegan put her hand up stopping her "I know but Mum and Dad raised her, they're all she's ever known..."

"And know they're gone" she added after a moment as a tear fell from her eyes; she missed her Mum and Dad so much but she needed to be strong for Rose and for Peri and for Leela, not that Leela would admit it but she was struggling and Tegan knew that, she knew her sister and what she was like; she wasn't the best at handling these things.

Leela sighed as she went upstairs only to return seconds later claiming she needed to see Ste.


	3. Chapter 3

She sat in 'College Coffee' drinking a strong coffee, willing her hangover to disappear.

She had a banging headache and she couldn't be doing with it all; Peri shouting at her was the last thing she needed or wanted this morning.

Sitting on her own her thoughts wondered to Ste who was lying in hospital, she said some horrible things to him and she couldn't help but think it was all her fault, she tipped him over the edge.

She needed to go and see him, draining her coffee she got up and made her way to the hospital; _it was now or never_ she thought to herself, she had to go and see Ste, she needed him to forgive her because she hated herself enough already.

As she found herself standing outside the hospital images of Ste's lifeless body filled her mind.

_He is going to be alright _her mind said over and over again.

Walking up to the entrance she slowly walked in the hospital, making her way to the ward Ste was on.

As she walked slowly down the plain corridors she came to his room, looking through the little window she saw him lying awake on the bed so she pushed the door open, hesitating slightly.

Ste's head turned to his sister and he gave her a weak smile which she managed to return; she was so relieved he was okay, she didn't want to lose him, not really; he was the brother she always wanted.

"Ste" Leela breathed, rushing over to the bed and hugging him, she felt him return the gesture causing her to smile to herself; _maybe he doesn't hate me _she thought to herself as she felt a tiny bit of hope.

"I'm so sorry" Leela sobbed as she pulled back from the hug, pulling an empty chair up to the side of the bed and sitting down "Please... I... Don't hate me..." she was unsure of what to say, she wanted to tell him that she didn't mean what she said but it was said and done, she should never have spoken to him like that; he was her brother and she loved him, she couldn't lose him.

"It's okay" Ste reassured her kindly.

"It's not, I should have never said such horrible things" Leela said, wiping her tears away.

"I never meant to overdose" Ste said as he watched his sister closely "I'm not weak"

"I know you're not" Leela said as she placed her hand over his "You don't hate me?"

"I don't hate you" Ste sighed, sitting up slightly so he could pull his sister in for a hug.

"I didn't mean what I said" Leela said as they hugged.

Pulling back Ste looked at his sister and smiled at her "I know you didn't, I get it, you we upset, you just lost your Mum and Dad"

"You lost your Dad too" Leela whispered.

"Yeah, well in the end he didn't what anything to do with me" Ste told her "I mess everything up, I should have expected it eventually"

"No, Ste, he loved you, you were his son and whatever he said he wouldn't have meant it, he loved you Ste, he really did, he told me, he spoke about you all the time" Leela let out a small chuckle "It got on my nerves it did, he wouldn't shut up about how glad he was that you were in his life"

Ste and Leela spend the next couple of hours speaking, it had been arranged that Ste was going to live with them when he got out; they needed to stick together now.

Suddenly Leela's phone burst into life signalling someone was calling her, looking at the caller id she saw Peri's name.

"I gotta go yeah" Leela said rushing out of the door and answering her phone, expecting Peri to be on the other end.

"Tom..." Leela said confused "Where's Pez?"

"I don't know, we were talking and suddenly she burst into tears and ran off"

"What? Where is she?" Leela raised her voice.

"Look, don't worry Tom, I'll find her" she hurriedly said before hanging up the phone and rushing out of the hospital.

Ringing Tegan she asked if Peri was at the house but she wasn't so she thought about the places she could be.

If she knew Peri she had a good idea where she would be so she made her way to the folly.

Leela found her sat at the folly crying her eyes out, the force of her sobs rocking her tiny frame.

Slowly approaching her Leela touched her knee causing her to jump and look up and to her surprise Peri didn't shake her off or run away.

Throwing herself into Leela's arms she let out more heart-wrenching sobs.

"Peri sweetheart, what's wrong?" Leela asked gently, when she got no reply she continued "Did Tom do something to you?"

Peri shook her head violently and looked up at Leela through teary eyes.

"Peri, baby, please tell me what's wrong?" Leela said as she brushed her daughters cheeks trying to soothe the tears but Peri just hugged herself closer to her side and cried more.

"Don't leave me" Peri mumbled into Leela's side.

"What?" Leela asked, confused and shocked.

Peri lifted her head and wiped her eyes with her sleeve "I didn't mean it"

Leela sighed as she finally understood why her daughter was so upset.

"I was just angry..." Peri whispered "I don't hate you" she added as more tears came flowing down her cheeks.

"I know" Leela said with a soft smile as she wiped her daughter's tears away.

"I don't wish it was you" she told Leela "I wish it never happened"

"Me too" Leela said in a whisper as she looked at her daughter with sad eyes; she wished she could take her daughter's pain away.

"Leela..."

"Hmm..." Leela muttered as she was thinking about how it all became such a mess.

"I'm glad..." Peri smiled at her sister/mum "I'm glad that it's you"

Leela thought about what her daughter said and smiled faintly.

"I suppose it could be worse, I could have a Mum that doesn't care..." Peri said "But you care..." she added with a bit of uncertainty in her voice.

"I care" Leela reassured her, squeezing her hand gently.

"Tom made me see that I was wrong, he made me realise that I still have people who care about me and I shouldn't push them away" Peri told Leela "I love you"

"Love you too" Leela told her daughter as she hugged her close.

"We won't forget..." Peri mumbled as she hugged Leela back.

Pulling back Leela looked at her daughter, knowing what she meant she gave her a sad smile "We will never forget"

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**So this will be the end but I do have another idea so if you want more let me know and I'll see what I can do**


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a couple of days since everything happened and the Lomax siblings were... well they didn't hate each other at least, but they weren't coping well.

Peri seemed to be blowing hot and cold towards Leela, one minute she was fine and the next she wasn't, but one thing Leela had came to notice was that Peri was slowly coming around to the idea of her and Cameron being her parents.

Tegan had fallen apart, trying to hold it together for the sake of her daughter didn't work and eventually she crumbled meaning Leela was left caring for young Rose.

A screaming 6 month old sat on Leela's hip as she rushed around the kitchen.

"I know you want your Mum but she's not here at the minute" Leela spoke through Rose's sequels "Come on..." she bounced Rose on her hip "Isn't your Auntie Leela good enough?" she asked only to get more screams in her ears "Of course she's not, she never is" Leela muttered under her breath.

Tegan was still at home but she hardly ever got up, she was in a bad way and Leela took it on herself to look after her young daughter.

"Shhh, please be quiet, can you do that for me?" Leela asked why rushing back and forth, trying to sort her bottle out.

Rose suddenly stopped her wails and nested into her aunt's side causing Leela to sigh with relief.

Rose silently observed as Leela finished making her bottle and gave it to her only for her to throw it to the ground.

"Rose, don't you want your milk?" Leela asked, feeling stressed with the young infant.

Rose had recently started drinking from sippy cups but as Leela learned Rose was stubborn, always throwing her drinks to the ground and making a mess so she swapped back to bottles; she was already struggling enough, Ste was hardly around to help because he was often working in 'The Hutch' or spending his time with John-Paul.

Leela placed Rose in her highchair as she picked the bottle up and placed it on the highchair in front of her; Rose could now eat and drink by herself so if she wanted it she would take it.

Rose sat in her highchair as her eyes followed her aunt all the while making little whining noises.

Leela sat down on the sofa and closed her eyes, putting her head in her hands; she couldn't blame Rose, she was a baby, none of this was her fault but she picked up on the atmosphere, she knew her Mum wasn't around at the moment and Leela didn't know what to do, she tried getting Tegan to come down but she didn't, the occasional times she did she didn't do anything, she was too withdrawn so she just ended up going back to her room and shutting herself away again.

Some days Peri would help Leela with Rose but at the moment she was in her room.

Rose fussed from her place in her highchair so Leela got up to see what was wrong and when she saw what Rose was doing she was panicked; Rose had managed to stand up in her highchair on wobbly legs.

Leela rushed over to her niece and quickly secured her in her arms "You're going to be a right little mischief when you're older" she said as Rose giggled.

Suddenly the doorbell went off but as Leela went to answer it Rose grabbed hold of the table causing Leela to nearly drop her.

"Rose please..." Leela sighed as she tried to get Rose to stop but she started complaining.

"I'll get it Mum" came Peri's voice.

Leela gasped as Peri froze where she stood, both of them forgetting about the door.

"I mean... um..." Peri trailed off as she stared at Leela; what had she just done? She called her Mum.

Leela stared back while holding a struggling Rose.

Rose got free from Leela's grip and crawled of but Leela just stood there, still reeling from the shock of being called Mum;_ I am her Mum, it shouldn't be weird_ her mind shouted at her.

"Pez..." Leela breathed, giving her a small smile and earning a weak one in return.

Peri felt something run into her so she looked down and saw Rose staring up at her, picking Rose up she placed her on her hip and went to open the door as the doorbell sounded again.

She opened the door, shoving Rose at the person before quickly hurrying back upstairs.

"Hey, what's up with her?" Cameron said as Leela let out a heavy sigh and walked over to him, taking Rose from his arms, she ignored his question and turned her back to him.

"Leela" he said in his Scottish twang.

"She just called me Mum" Leela whispered with her back to him as she placed Rose back in her highchair making sure she couldn't try to escape again.

Leela turned to face Cameron and he was right there, she nearly stumbled into him he was that close so she took a step back, creating some distance between them.

"Isn't that good?" Cameron muttered but Leela didn't answer she just shrugged as she looked vacantly towards Rose who was playing with her almost empty milk bottle.

Cameron stood watching Leela before putting a hand on her shoulder making her jump slightly "Anyway I just came to give you this, well it's for Peri, I thought she might like it" he said holding up a 'PS4'

"Thanks" Leela said absentmindedly.

"Should I set it up" Cameron asked.

"Do what you like" Leela told him dismissively.

Cameron went to the television and started setting it up; he just wanted to do something for his daughter, he knew this was only small but it would take time and he knew eventually he would be able to be there for her properly, eventually when all the dust settled and she was ready.

Cameron set to work as Leela stayed quiet, the only sounds being heard in the room were coming from Rose, as he worked he noticed Peri standing at the top of the stairs watching him so he looked up and offered her a smile which she returned.

Peri walked downstairs and approached Leela who was deep in thought.

"I didn't mean to... you know..." Peri said causing Leela to turn around and look at her daughter.

"Peri, it's fine, I don't mind, I was just... it was just a shock"

"Yeah" Peri agreed with a small smile "You don't think that Mum and Dad will hate me?"

Leela took her daughter's hands and held them in her own; she knew that Sam and Danny would always have a special place in her heart, maybe even more special than her place but they were slowly getting there and maybe one day in the future Peri would be more open to calling her Mum.

"No Peri, Mum and Dad loved you, they loved us all, but you were special... you are special, they will just want you to be happy, you were their little girl" Leela told her daughter.

"I will always love and miss them but I think I'm ready to accept that they weren't my real parents" Peri said.

"Mum..." Peri said testing the word as she felt uncertain about this new chapter in her life, but she needed to more on; she had to accept that they weren't coming back no matter how much she hated it, it was true and she had to accept it "Is it okay if I call you that?" she questioned as she eyed Leela carefully.

"If you're comfortable then I would love that, but it's your choice" Leela told her.

"I want to try" Peri told her Mum; her real Mum and it was time she came to accept it; not everyone was as lucky as her, she still had two parents who loved and wanted her and she needed to stop being so stubborn and acknowledge that.

Suddenly Rose laughed, interrupting the moment..

As Leela and Peri both looked towards Rose they saw the mess she had made; she had managed to get the top off of her bottle and had tipped the reminding milk over her head.

"Rose..." Peri laughed as she looked towards Leela and smiled "I'll leave that to you..." Peri said indicating towards her baby cousin before running upstairs.

"Great" Leela mumbled but she couldn't hide the grin that was on her face; maybe she would get her daughter after all.

Cameron had silently watched the scene before him and he was happy for Leela; maybe one day she would accept him like that but for now he had to just be patient, after all Peri had known Leela her whole life whereas she had only known him a matter of weeks, he had accepted it was going to take time.

As Peri disappeared Leela started sorting Rose out before catching Cameron's eye.

"Well I'm just going to go, it's all done" Cameron said from the lounge.

Cam, it'll take time" Leela said to him as she understood that he just wanted to be part of his daughter's life.

"Yeah, I gotta go" Cameron said, rushing out of the door leaving Leela staring after him.

"Right, come on you" Leela said after a while before picking Rose up "You need changing now, you've got milk all over you" she tickled Rose under the chin causing her to squeal in laughter "This isn't funny missy" she told her niece as she made her way upstairs with baby Rose firmly in her arms.

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**This is it guys! I really enjoyed writing this :) So I hope you like it**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I know last chapter was meant to be the end but as you see it wasn't, I had another idea, so this story is completed but as and when I get ideas I might add more so keep an eye out for an update :)**

** Anyways I have a feeling people are going to like this chapter ;p  
**

**So Enjoy X**

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The days passed and the remaining Lomax family where finally getting ton their feet again; Tegan had finally come out of hiding, but she wasn't coping well so she had taken Rose and gone to their Auntie Sue's for a bit; she promised to be back for the funeral but right now she just needed to get away, so that's what she did.

With Tegan and Rose away that left just Peri, Leela and Ste at home, they were all very much grieving still, but they remembered together now; sharing stories and memories with the other which brought a lot of happy times but also a lot of sad times with it.

A knock at the door sounded which got Leela's attention as her and Peri watched a DVD together.

Peri looked towards her Mum and gave her a questioning look, leaning forward she pressed pause on the remote before waiting for Leela to move.

"I'll be right back" Leela sighed as she climbed off of the couch and made her way to the door.

Opening the door she saw what it was and she sucked in a deep breath as she felt the pain in her chest, her stomach dropped as she looked at what the man on the outside was holding.

"Deliver for Lomax" the man said as her held a giant portrait of the family; her Dad had ordered it months ago, but it had been delayed.

The picture was of all of them looking happy, they were all together; Sam, Danny, Ste, Tegan, Peri, Rose and her.

Leela stared at the picture in front of her eyes and remembered back to that time; she remembered the day that picture was took, remembering it as a happy day she smiled softly to herself as a tear slide down her cheek.

"Thanks" Leela said before taking it off of him.

She stood at the open door unmoved, watching as the delivery man walked away.

"Leela..." Peri called.

"Mum" Peri tried again but still got no reply so she walked up to the open door "What is it?"

Silent tears now ran down Leela's face as she thought back to how happy they were, how happy they could have still been if it weren't for her, they could have moved to New Zealand and had a fresh start but she ruined it, she killed her parents.

Touching Leela's arm softly Peri got her attention and noticed her Mum was crying, she looked at what Leela was holding before suddenly realisation shot across her face and she froze.

"I ruined this" Leela mumbled and then she sank to her knees, leaning against the door frame, she looked towards her daughter and saw the tears in her eyes which were threatening the spill.

Leela reached up and held her hand out towards her daughter which she accepted, offering her Mum a slight smile.

The tears in Peri's eyes slowly fell down her cheeks and she started crying too.

Leela held her arms out "Come here" Peri sat beside her Mum and hugged her as she let the tears fall.

"We were so happy" Peri said shakily through her tears.

"I know baby" Leela sighed "I know" she cried, she cried for herself and for her daughter; she would do anything to bring them back.

"I just want them back" Peri sobbed into Leela's side.

"I know" Leela whispered before kissing the top of her daughter's head "So do I"

"Mum..." Peri said shakily.

Leela looked at her daughter and wiped her tears away as more tears fell down her own cheeks.

"I'm sorry" Peri said as she stared at the picture of them all.

"What for?"

"I'm sorry I was going to leave with them..." she said causing Leela to gently cut her off.

"No, it's okay, they were your parents, they brought you up and they were all you knew, of course you wanted to be with them" Leela told her kindly.

"But it must have hurt" Peri said as she looked up at her Mum.

"Of course it did, I love you more than anything in the world, but I don't blame you" Leela told her as she wiped her eyes and smiled at her daughter.

Leela watched her daughter careful as all different emotions flicked across her face; Fear, hurt, anger and sorrow, but also joy.

Peri burst into tears as she thought about losing her 'parents', she had her real Mum now but she still considered them her parents too, maybe if they were still alive she would have switched to calling them Grandma and Granddad eventually but not now, she couldn't do it, not now they were gone.

"Shhh" Leela whispered as she pulled her daughter closer to her and she cried into her lap "I'm here baby girl, I will always be here for you" she whispered, she hated hearing her daughter's distraught cries.

Leela listened to the pain of her daughter crying as she looked at the image in front of her; her happy family, destroyed.

Suddenly someone came up the steps and stopped in front of her, looking up she met his eyes and gave him a heartbreaking smile.

Cameron stood there watching his girls; he looked towards his little girl and his heart broke for her.

Leela signaled for him to come and sit with them, so he did, slowly approaching them he sat down, Leela carefully shuffled their daughter over to him before getting up and walking into the house, she placed the picture against the wall so it was visible for the family to see and remember their parents and grandparents; Rose and Peri had lost grandparents whereas Leela, Tegan and Ste had lost parents.

Leela looked longingly at the picture of their family before walking back to her own little family who where now sat on the couch.

Peri was still crying against Cameron as Leela joined them again, she put her hand on Peri's back and began rubbing soothing circles into it which seemed to work in easing her cries a bit, eventually they subsided all together as she looked up at Cameron and gave him a watery smile.

Cameron smiled back at his daughter as he brushed a piece of hair back from her face causing Leela to smile to herself.

"Let's watch the film" Peri said after a while as she sat up with tear stained eyes causing Leela to smile at her, she reached for the remote and pressed play.

Cameron sat watching the two most important people in the world to him and smiled proudly to himself; he was never going to let them go again.


	6. Chapter 6

Peri had fallen asleep on the couch, her head now resting on Cameron's lap as she made little mumbling sounds every now and again; she was anything but peaceful.

Leela watched as she rested on Cameron's lap, noticing as she kept screwing her eyes tightly shut and every so often a single tear would run down her cheek.

Leela watched her daughter with worry; she missed her Mum and Dad so much but the pain it was causing Peri was unbearable for her to watch.

Suddenly Peri shot up and burst into tears; this had happened before but before it was Ste who comforted her, she tried but Peri wouldn't let her.

Peri looked at her Mum with pain written across her face, no words were needed because Leela know the reason behind her tears, her 'parents' had just died, of course she was going to be upset, she was devastated; they all were.

Leela took her daughter's hand in her own and squeezed it gently "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked her daughter but she shook her head and quickly wiped her damp eyes as if she shouldn't be crying.

"It's okay to be upset you know" Leela whispered.

Peri shrugged her shoulders before looking towards Cameron "Um..." she turned back to Leela with uncertainty "Is it okay if he stays for dinner?"

Leela gave her daughter a warm smile before looking at Cameron "Sure, if that's want you want?"

"Hmm" she said "It is" she smiled

Suddenly Peri turned around and threw herself in her Dad's arms, hugging him tightly, she then turned and hugged Leela before heading upstairs.

As she made her way upstairs she couldn't help but glance back at Leela and Cameron; her parents_, maybe we could be happy again _she thought to herself as she turned with a small smile on her lips and walked upstairs.

"I'm worried about her" Leela said as she looked up at Cameron.

"She seems alright to me" he said.

"Yeah" she looked at him with a frown "She just found out the people she thought were her parents weren't, then they die" Cameron just looked at her "I'm worried" she sighed "She may have made a big step in accepting us but..." Cameron pulled her to him and hugged her to his side which she gladly allowed him to do; right now she needed the comfort he had to offer.

They sat in silence for a moment before Cameron spoke "What about you?

Leela sat up and looked at him with a confused look "What about me?"

"You lost your parents too..." Cameron trailed off.

"I need to focus on Peri now, of course I miss them, they were my Mum and Dad, but I need to be strong for Peri, for our daughter"

Reaching out Cameron stroked her cheek tenderly, feeling her lean into his touch he felt something inside of him; he never stopped loving her.

They slowly pulled apart and Leela got up to go into the kitchen as she decided she needed to start making dinner.

Stopping for a moment as her eyes fell on the picture of them all; she missed her Dad the most, during this whole thing with Peri he was the one that seemed to care about her feelings too, in the end her Mum only seemed to care about Peri.

She stood at the sink chopping some vegetables as she began thinking about her parents, a tear slide down her cheek as Cameron came up behind her and put his arms around her.

"Cam" she whispered as she turned in his arms "I'm with Ziggy"

"I know, but we're a family, you need me" he told her.

Leela looked towards the stairs sadly before looking back at Cameron and resting her head on his shoulder "We both do" she mumbled.

Cameron stroked her hair soothingly as they got lost in the moment.

"The funeral's tomorrow" Leela suddenly said as she pulled away from him and went back to what she was doing.

"I'm here for you, both of you" Cameron told her as her stole a bit of carrot and put it into his mouth.

Before Leela could say anything Peri came downstairs.

"Is Ste going to be here?" she asked.

"No, he's gone out with John-Paul" Leela told her.

"He's always with him, when is he going to spend time with us" Peri asked as she looked sad.

"Hey, don't be sad, I'm here" Cameron said as he jumped in "We can have a match later if you like" he said indicating to the new games console he brought her causing her to smile a bit.

"Okay, but you know I'll win" she said with a giant grin on her face.

"You think so do you?"

"Yep" she said as her grin grew even bigger.

Leela laughed as she heard them talking before turning to Peri and asking her to lay the table.

"Just us" she told Peri as she got the mats out and began laying the table.

Once dinner was ready they sat down and ate, both Peri and Leela silently thinking about the funeral tomorrow.

* * *

**So there will be another chapter which will most likely be the funeral then after that I don't know**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't know how I feel about this, I wanted to show that all the family were upset and I don't know how well I managed that. Let me know what you think :)**

* * *

Leela woke up on the couch with a familiar feeling of being in someone's arms so she turned her head, as she looked beside her feelings of joy and dread overcame her; she felt safe in his arms, but the one thought she couldn't ignore was that it should be Ziggy's arms, but instead it was Cameron.

Letting out a small sigh she thought about how this happened; she never meant for him to stay the night, it just happened.

Looking towards the coffee table she saw an empty bottle of wine and two empty wine glasses so she careful extracted herself from Cameron's arms and went to tidy them away.

"Hey" Cameron's voice startled her.

"Um, hey" Leela replied as she glanced at him before taking the empty bottle and glasses into the kitchen.

Cameron walked up behind her and put his arms around her, just then Leela seemed to remember his state of undress, she turned towards a topless Cameron without saying a word, staring at his bare chest before looking up to meet his eyes.

They stayed in the moment for a few minutes before Leela's mind caught up to her and she moved away from him.

"Um, I, I need to get ready" she said as she stumbled over her words, she got his top and chucked it to him, silently telling him to put it on.

"Lee..." Cameron started once he put his top on but the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs stopped him.

Peri stood looking at her parents with sleepy eyes "What's he doing here?"

"Oh, he just came to see if we needed anything..." Leela trailed off.

"This early?" she questioned.

"Yeah" Leela lied.

Peri just shrugged her shoulders before continuing to the kitchen, going around the kitchen she noticed the two wine glasses in the sink and the empty bottle, she frowned to herself before turning to look at both Cameron and Leela who were in a heated discussion which she couldn't quite hear.

"Look I gotta get ready, just go..." Leela said but Cameron made no move to leave "Please, Cam" she sighed heavily "I'll see you at the church"

Walking into the kitchen as the front door shut she smiled uneasily at Peri.

"What was that about?" Peri asked but Leela didn't reply, she was too focused on the day ahead.

"Mum..." Peri shouted getting her attention.

"Oh, nothing, we need to get ready, Tee should be here soon" Leela said as she dismissed the question.

Just then Tegan walked through the door with Rose in her pram.

"You're back" Peri said as she ran over and hugged her recently discovered Aunt.

"Hey kiddo" Tegan said as she ruffled Peri's hair making her scoff.

Peri went upstairs to get ready even though the funeral wasn't until 1.

"So, Cameron?" Tegan asked with a raised eyebrow as she lifted a grizzly Rose from her pram.

Leela just walked off with a huff; she didn't want people asking her about Cameron, she just wanted to focus on saying goodbye to her Mum and Dad, and to be honest she didn't know what her and Cameron were; they were somewhere between friends and a little bit more, but she had Ziggy; she loved Ziggy but that didn't stop her from feeling the way she did every time Cameron touched her or smiled at her.

Tegan just watched her sister as she walked upstairs, she shook her head at her sister's obvious feelings for her ex, then she carried on seeing to Rose.

Peri was in her room going through her closet trying to pick the best black outfit to wear to the funeral, as she rifled though her clothes there was a knock at the door.

"Come in" she called.

Leela walked into her daughter's room and sat down on the edge of the bed as she watched Peri going through her clothes.

"Do you want a hand?" Leela asked.

"I don't know which one" Peri turned to her Mum and said as she held two black dresses up.

"That's pretty" Leela pointed at one of them "But you will look great in either" Leela offered her a smile and Peri put the dress Leela pointed to on her bed and the other one back in her wardrobe.

"Thanks" Peri smiled as she sat beside her Mum.

"I can't believe they're gone, they're not coming back" Peri said as she leaned into her Mum's side.

"I know" Leela whispered as she held her daughter close; she often thought about how Peri could have been in the car too.

Peri looked up at her Mum with sad eyes.

"Do you think they would hate me?" Peri suddenly asked, but seeing Leela's frown she went to continue only for Leela to cut her off.

"Don't you ever ask that again" Leela said as she took her daughter's hand in her own "They will just be happy you're happy"

"Promise?" Peri asked as she looked up at her Mum.

"Promise" Leela smiled before getting up to leave.

"Leela..."

"Yeah" she said as she turned back to face her daughter.

"Thank you" Peri said as she still sat on the bed.

Leela frowned as she didn't really know why she was saying thank you but she just smiled sympathetically and walked away, closing the door behind her.

As it slowly approached time to go Tegan, Peri and baby Rose waited in the lounge for Leela and Ste who were both upstairs getting ready.

Ste came out of his room once he was ready and noticed Leela in the bathroom sat on the side of the bath.

Pushing the door open he slowly walked up to her noticing her holding a picture of her Mum and Dad.

Ste looked at her and gently took the picture from her hands before sitting down beside her and pulling her into his side.

"I can't believe they're really gone" she said, repeating her daughter's words from earlier.

"Me neither" Ste whispered back.

They stayed like that for a moment before Leela suddenly got up and wiped her eyes, putting on a brave face she smiled at her brother.

"Come on, let's go" she said as she tried to pull herself together.

Reaching for Ste's hand she pulled him up and they headed downstairs.

Peri and Tegan turned to look at Ste and Leela as they both appeared and they both noticed Leela's appearance.

"Leela, are you okay?" Tegan asked.

"Yep" she said as she forced a smile "Come on let's go and get this over with"

Walking out of the house Peri, Tegan and Ste looked on; Ste and Tegan exchanged looks as they both thought the same thing; _their sister was not alright,_ Leela was putting up walls, she was pushing them away, shutting her emotions off.

They walked down the village steps seeing the coffins coming; Ste looked on sadly as silent tears ran down Peri's face, Tegan watched her sister in concern as she just watched on emotionlessly.

Rose started screaming suddenly breaking Leela out of her daze.

They all got into the car and followed the Hurst to the church, the car ride was silent as everyone was stuck in their own thoughts, and the only sounds that could be heard were Rose's grizzlies.

The service started as everyone walked into the church, the coffins laying there with a picture of them on top of them and flowers resting on each.

As the service continued Ste got up to read out his epilogue, he stood at the front of the church speaking about his Dad with much difficulty as he felt the pain in his chest, he struggle, but he knew he had to do this; he had to do it for his Dad and for his sisters.

As Ste finished his reading he walked back to his seat next to Leela and gently squeezed her hand, Leela just looked at him and smiled, without showing any emotion she got up and started speaking about both her Mum and Dad; she spoke about her Mum first, then her Dad, as she spoke about her Dad a tear escaped her eyes as she remembered him, quickly wiping it away she walked back to her seat and sat down as the rest of the service passed her by in a haze.

After the service Peri looked at her uncle who just shrugged before they made their way out of the church.

"Mum, are you okay?" Peri asked as she took her Mum's hand.

Leela hadn't said a word since the service ended which they knew wasn't a good sign; sooner or later all her feelings would come out and it wouldn't be pretty.

Leela gave her daughter a watery smile before pulling her into her side as they walked out of the church together.


	8. Chapter 8

Leela stood by her parents graveside long after everyone else had left; she had so much she wanted to say but she didn't know where to start, she was forever grateful to her parents who gave up everything to care for her daughter, but in the end she couldn't let them take her daughter halfway across the world; she may have accepted her Mum and Dad being Peri's parents but she couldn't cope with them taking her away from her completely.

She still had this small voice in the back of her mind telling her it was her fault that they died; if she never met Cameron, if she never got pregnant, if Cameron hadn't have came back, if she didn't blurt the truth out like she did, if... it was all just what ifs, but it wasn't reality because her parents were dead and maybe she could have stopped it from happening.

As the cool breeze blew around her blowing the strands of hair that framed her face she felt a sense of emptiness; everyone else had gone to the wake leaving her alone to say one final goodbye to her parents.

She stood looking down at the graves of her Mum and Dad as her face streamed with silent tears.

"I know I let you down, ever since I was little..." she trailed off as she sank to her knees and lightly touched the flowers that were laid for them by various mourners.

"Coming home pregnant..." she looked at the gravestone and laughed humorously "I was always the screw up, I wasn't perfect like Tegan, I never did as I was told, I answered back, I skipped school" she began to cry uncontrollably a she looked between her parents graves "I came home pregnant at fourteen" settling her gaze on her Dad's grave she smiled at the harsh memory "I was always Daddy's little girl" she lightly brushed the grass on the ground as more tears poured down her cheeks "I know I let you down, I let you all down..." she looked up as she thought about the million things she needed them to know but they just wouldn't come out right so she let the tears consume her.

Watching her from afar he could see she was alone at her Mum and Dad's graveside, he continued to gaze at her silently as she sat on the ground, seeing her body shaking he knew she was crying.

He had been watching her since the funeral, from the back of the church; they hadn't spoken much because he decided to give her space, she needed to be with her family, plus he wasn't her boyfriend, he had no right to comfort her but seeing her now, alone and crying, he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and just hold her.

Cameron stepped out from the tree he was under and slowly approached her.

"I'm sorry..." Leela cried "I wish I could change it, do things differently, and..." she stared ahead of her letting the loneliness consumed her "And maybe, maybe you'd still be here" she was sobbing hysterically as Cameron walked up behind her, hearing what she said he just wanted her to know none of this was her fault.

As Leela knelt there crying she didn't hear the footsteps approaching her until Cameron lightly touched her shoulder; she didn't jump, she just turned to look at the person who disturbed her with tears in her eyes, her cheeks were stained with tears as mascara ran down them.

Her and Cameron looked at each other for what seemed like a lifetime before Leela fell into his arms and sobbed into his chest.

Cameron's heart broke as he stroked her hair soothingly, listening to her agonizing sobs he stared out into the still cemetery.

"It's going to be okay..." Cameron whispered into her ear as her cries began to get weaker.

Looking up at him through teary eyes she tried to smile at him as she stood close to him enjoying the warmth he was offering her.

"Ziggy never even came, he said he was busy" Leela told him as her voice broke and a fresh set of tears began to cascade down her cheeks.

Cameron didn't say anything to that he just pulled her to him and hugged her until the tears stopped

Cameron wasn't very fond of Ziggy; he thought he was an idiot most of the time, but he couldn't deny that he treated Leela right and for that he had a bit of admiration for the guy, but not enough to actually like him.

"I'm here, you don't need him" Leela looked up at him "You've got me" she offered him a small but weak smile as he continued "He's an idiot" he said as he reached out to wipe the remaining tears from her cheeks but she swatted him away and moved out of his grasp.

"He's my boyfriend" Leela glared at Cameron "I love him" she hesitated as she began to cry once more.

Turning away from Cameron she read her Mum and Dad's gravestone.

"_Here Lies Samantha and Daniel Lomax"_

_Their love was strong and one of a kind, nothing and no one could break them apart. _

_Beloved Mother to Leela Lomax, Tegan Lomax and Peri Lomax_

_Beloved Father to Leela Lomax, Ste Hay, Tegan Lomax and Peri Lomax_

_In life we loved you dearly and in death we love you still,_

_In our hearts you hold a place that no one else can fill. _

_1969-2014_

Leela's eyes lingered on each word as she read them with emotion, lightly touching her fingers to each word.

Leela thought it was only right to put Peri's name there; Peri was their daughter, maybe not biologically but they looked after her and brought her up to be who she is now. Leela would look after her daughter now but nothing would change the fact that Sam and Danny were her parents in many ways and Leela understood that, especially now; now that they were gone.

She reread the bottom quote on the gravestone before getting up and turning back to Cameron who unbeknown to her was already gone.

She let out a sigh as she turned around, wiping her eyes as she looked around for Cameron but he was nowhere to be seen.

She felt her heart sink as she remembered confessing her love for Ziggy, and to Cameron of all people.

_I love him _Her mind repeated, but she wasn't sure of her feelings; Ziggy made her feel safe, she loved spending time with him and he was a great boyfriend, but she wasn't so sure about love.

Putting the thought of her love life out of her mind she turned to look at the place her parents rest, lingering for a moment as she said one final goodbye before walking away.


	9. Chapter 9

Leela walked into the Lomax house as people were standing around talking and remembering; Cameron was there already as he sat on the stairs talking to Peri who was holding something which looked like a picture, no doubt it was a family photo of them all.

As she walked around heading into the kitchen a few people said hello to her and offered their condolences so she just smiled before carrying on to the kitchen.

Stood in the kitchen she found Tegan who was deep in conversation with Ziggy.

"Leela" Ziggy said as he spotted her appear "I'm so sorry" he went over to her and leant in to kiss her but she turned her head so he only managed to kiss her cheek, pulling away her felt guilty knowing he should have been there for her "Baby, please, I should have been there, you needed me and I wasn't there" Ziggy rambled on as Leela's eyes sought out Cameron's.

As their eyes meant Ziggy followed her gaze, seeing what she was looking at and that he was looking back he quickly diverted her attention "Forgive me?"

Leela looked to her boyfriend and smiled with sadness and regret "I needed you today"

"I know, I'm an idiot"

Leela thought back to what Cameron said back at her parent's graveside and she couldn't help but feel guilty as Ziggy stood in front of her looking miserable.

She studied his face for a minute before falling into his awaiting arms "I needed you" she sobbed into his shoulder.

"I know baby..." he said before pulling away so he could look at her and wipe away her fallen tears "I promise I will never let you down again"

She managed to give him a small smile as she wrapped herself in his arms again.

She caught Cameron's eyes from over Ziggy's shoulder and she couldn't help but stare back "Never let me go" she mumbled into Ziggy's neck "No matter what happens"

They pulled apart before Leela decided to go and get a drink; she found a bottle of vodka so she picked it up and went to sit at the table in the kitchen.

Unscrewing the bottle she pressed it to her lips but as she saw her daughter and her ex lover she thought twice and decided she was better than this; she had a loving boyfriend and a beautiful daughter, she didn't want to ruin that, she also had Cameron, he was there for her when she needed him.

She went over to the sink and poured it down as Ste watched her with a face full of disgust and pity but she ignored him.

As she went to find where Ziggy had gotten to she noticed Cameron and Peri weren't on the stairs anymore, seeing Cameron talking to someone she recognised as her Mum's work colleague she wondered where Peri was.

Spotting Ziggy she walked over to him "Have you seen Pez?" she asked as she looked around, scanning the room for her daughter.

"No" he said as he leant forward attempting to kiss her again but she pulled away and gave him an uneasy smile.

"What's wrong?" Ziggy asked as he gave her a confused look.

"Nothing, I just don't think this is the place, it's my parents wake..." Leela trailed off.

"I know what it is but can't I kiss my girlfriend if I want to?" Ziggy argued.

"No" Leela answered back feeling frustrated; she wanted to find her daughter and make sure she was okay.

"What is wrong with you?" Ziggy questioned.

"Nothing is wrong with me, in case you haven't noticed this is my parents wake, because they're dead, they are dead and I will never see them again" tears brimmed her eyes as they threatened to fall, but she wasn't going to let them.

Ziggy reached out to her but she pulled back causing him to look at her with an odd expression.

"I bet you would kiss Cameron" Ziggy muttered but Leela heard and before he could backtrack he felt a hand come into contact with his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean that" he called as she began walking away from him.

She spotted Peri outside the front door sitting on the steps by herself, as she went to approach her she saw Cameron was walking up to her so she decided to leave them for a bit.

As Cameron sat down beside his daughter he noticed the picture from earlier still clutched in her hands; it was creased a bit but it was obviously very precious to her; the picture was of her, Sam, Danny and Leela, she was sat in between Sam and Danny while Leela was sat beside her Dad, there was a noticeable distance between Leela and the others.

"Hey" he said gently causing her to look up at him.

She stayed quiet for a long time as she just stared back at the picture in her hands.

"Did she really send you to prison for something you didn't do?" Peri asked as she stared at the person she called Mum; the person she loved like a Mum.

"Yeah" Cameron replied; she had been lied to all her life so he needed to tell her the truth and why shouldn't he? He hated Sam if he was honest; that woman was the reason he never knew he had a daughter until now, she was the reason he lost Leela and he hated her for it, but he understood a few of her reasons now.

"But she did it to protect her daughter" Peri looked up at her Dad as he spoke and smiled weakly at him "She did it to protect Leela" he added as he sighed heavily and looked at the picture in Peri's hands.

"I can't believe she did that" Peri said as she struggled to get her head around her Mum sending an innocent man to prison.

"Well, a parent would do anything to keep their child safe" he told her as he noticed the frown on her face "Sam was doing what she thought was best..." gazing at the picture again he looked between Leela and her Mum "To keep her little girl safe"

"I guess, but you wouldn't have hurt her" she replied, it wasn't a question more like an observation.

Cameron thought about what Peri had said as silence fell between them.

"If you never went to prison you and Leela would have been my Mum and Dad" Peri stated suddenly.

"Probably, yeah, but things happen for a reason" he looked sad as he thought about what he wanted to tell her "But me and Leela were just kids" he placed his hand over his daughter's "Maybe it all worked out for the best" he said, but as he saw the frown on Peri's face he quickly continued "I would have loved to have brought you up. Me, you and Leela as a family, but it didn't work like that did it ey" Peri looked up at her Dad but he spoke again "Sam and Danny couldn't have done a better job. I may not have liked them very much but they brought you up and look how you turned out, you're amazing, beautiful, kind and you're so smart, you're everything I could have wanted for you"

Peri looked at her Dad who she had only known a matter of weeks and listened to every word he was saying, she smiled absentmindedly as she looked back at the picture "I loved them, they were the best parents, but I think you're pretty awesome too" she smiled up at her Dad and hugged him.

Cameron and Peri; father and daughter, sat their hugging as Leela watched them though the window, she couldn't hear what was being said but she could tell it was what Peri needed to hear and as she watched her lean in to hug him she couldn't help but smile to herself as thoughts of her, Cameron and Peri filled her mind; Cameron would always be a part of her life and he would always have that special place in her heart because he was the father of her child, unresolved feelings aside he was her father and for that she would always love him.

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**So this is probably a really good place to end it because i think the end of this chapter just closes the whole story nicely, but... i'll leave it up to you guys, if you want more let me know and we'll see also any ideas, anything you want to see just tell me in bc i do take all suggestions into account.**


	10. AN

**There is going to be a sequel to this because people want more and I wanted to write more but I wanted this to end here as I thought it was a nice fitting end, keep sequel will be called 'How long will I love you" so keep an eye out :)**


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